Casey Arkens' Blog About Her Experience With Shaving Her Head - 6/9/2011

Casey is my friend who shaved her head before I went to get my hair cut off!  She had been telling about some of her experiences and I asked if she would blog a story about it.  Here is her story:  (THANK YOU SO MUCH, CASEY!!!!!!!!)



Hello all, my name is Casey.  Jodi and I have been friends for many, many years.  So, not only are we friends; but for those of you who don't know, I am also her hair stylist.

One of my favorite memories with Jodi is the time we decided to go camping at Oscar Lake.  As we were driving out there, we came upon a large tree across the road, and of course, we tried to move it.  It would not budge, so we did what anyone else would have done.  We set up camp right in the middle of the road... a two rut road.  Little did we know this would be a memory to talk about for years!  We had a hilarious time, as you can see from this beautiful picture of Jodi!




Jodi Camping At Oscar Lake - @ 1995


When I heard about Jodi and how her life had changed so monumentally in such a short span of time, I felt shocked... sad... upset.... angry... and then determined to keep a smile on my friends' face and hope in her heart.

Jodi had her first surgery, and with that, half a head of hair removed.  I knew she would be ready to shave the rest off soon.  When she called to ask, I knew there was something I could do to make her smile.  I shaved my hair off before she came in to my shop.  After all, how could I be her hair stylist and tell her, "It's only hair, it will grow back," if I had a full head of hair?  So, off my hair came.  When Jodi and Kurt walked in to the hair shop, there was her smile (Kurt's too) and of course some tears.  It takes incredible courage to sit in the hair chair, in front of the mirror, and watch the rest of your hair come off.  I can only hope having another bald head staring at you in the mirror would make it easier.  So, we had a hair shaving party... Jodi, then Kurt, then John (Jodi's brother) and even Andrew (Jodi's nephew), joined in with a mohawk!  :)

Casey Arkens, Jodi, Kurt, Andrew and John

This is what I did not expect when I cut my hair:

I didn't expect kids I've known their entire life to be scared of me.  I didn't expect them to hide behind their parents when I talked to them.  I wondered, does the short, short hair scare them?  Is it because girls aren't supposed to have hair this short.... or do they think that I am sick??

I knew that women who knew me would show concern.  And they did, asking "Are you okay?" or "What happened to your hair?"  Women that didn't know me, mostly smiled, being curious, I think.  But, what I didn't expect was for them to look away so quickly after they smiled.

I didn't expect just about every man would look away or not even be able to make eye contact with me.  I've talked to many people about this being a hair stylist and all, and I have narrowed it down to two ideas:

- My husband said, "Men are fixers, and if you are sick, they can't fix that, and it makes them uncomfortable."  I understand this thought and let me tell ya, the feeling of being uncomfortable lasts longer for me then it did for them.  And since I am not sick, I can't imagine how much it would hurt if you really were sick.

- One of my clients said, "Please don't take any offense, but some men may think that you are a lesbian and that may make them uncomfortable."  Which I guess if this is true, beware ladies... if you're walking along side of me, people may be thinking something unusual about you too! :)

The only "group" of people who seem to smile or say "hi", no mater what, are the elderly.  And my thoughts on this are, they are wise with their years.  They have seen illness come and go, friends and family come and go, and the compassion shows in their eyes.

With that, what I thought was just going to be a new hairstyle has turned into much more.  It has showed me a glimpse of how Jodi must feel when she walks into a restaurant or goes into a grocery store.  The looks or the no-looks, or the whsipers behind her back.  It hurts my heart because I am not sick, and Jodi is, and that must make all the whispers that much harder.

It got me thinking of the power of a smile.  If everyone could just smile.  How it could change a day?  Brighten a day?  By just a smile?  So, I've started something... a pay it forward... a smile for Jodi.

Wristbands made just for Jodi.  Wristbands that say "A Smile for Jodi."  A reminder to the people who wear them there is power in a smile.  A gift of a smile.  And my hope is that when Jodi walks into a restaurant or goes into a grocery store, she will see friends and strangers wearing her wristbands and she will smile too!